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Monday, October 18, 2010

Love Busters

If a man/woman wants you, nothing can keep him/her away. If he/she doesn't want you, nothing can make him/her stay. We have all heard that before, right? But did we actually listen, did we stop and think about what was said? Why is it that we make excuses for a man/woman and his/her behavior? Im no expert on love, but I did stop and listen to the above question. I actually went beyond just listening to it.... I ANSWERED IT. Below is the way I see it.

If we all just STOPPED, listened and allowed our intuition to save us from heartache; then maybe I could stop seeing such lonely broken hearted people. Or if I have to listen to another person tell me they are fed up with love, I may just burst! How can you be fed up with LOVE? It (in my eyes) is single handily the best thing in the world, found in many different places. Like love between a mother and child, a man and his dog or a man and his money. (Ok lets not get off topic here)

Rules of Love I personally live by:
*Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
*Slower is ALWAYS better. (Keep them interested)
*Never live your life for a man/woman before you find what makes you truly happy (Blog on Self Worth to follow).
*If a relationship ends because the man/woman was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. So don't settle. If you feel like he/she is stringing you along, then he/she probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
* Always have your own set of friends separate from his/hers.
 ('ME' time is very healthy in a relationship, just don't get carried away)  

*Maintain boundaries in how a guy/gal treats you.
*If something bothers you, speak up. (Closed mouths don't get fed, so speak up ladies/fellas.)
*You cannot change a man's/woman's behavior. (But you do have the choice to leave, remember you control YOU and how you are treated.)

Now we should all know that change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he/she is more important than you are, even if he/she has an higher education background or even a higher paying job. Some of the most happiest and in love people I know are the most broke. True story. Ok back on topic... Do not make him/her into a quasi-god. He/She is a man/woman, nothing more nothing less. Never should you let a man/woman define who you are, who you are comes from within. (Side note: If you don't like who that is, then CHANGE IT!)  A man/woman will only treat you the way you ALLOW him/her to treat you. Never forget that you should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street. Keep your eyes open for those red flags. 


REMINDER: You need time to heal between relationships, there is absolutely nothing cute about baggage. Highly recommend that you deal with your ISSUES before pursuing a new relationship. When that path is cleared and you are ready to move forward, you shouldn't start with looking for someone to COMPLETE you. A healthy relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. With that said you should look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

Single People: Dating is suppose to be fun, even if he/she doesn't turn out to be Mr./Mrs. Right. Keep him/her in your radar but get to know others.  Make him/her miss you sometimes, goes back to that quote "When a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him, he takes it for granted." Ohhhhh trust me, this happens.

LASTLY - Ladies please, never move into his mother's house.  Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. With that said make sure you know what you need FIRST. No one knows your life better than you, therefore no one will be able to define your needs/wants/wishes better than YOU.
 

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Company you keep....

It Is Better To Be Alone, Than In The Wrong Company

Tell me who your best friends (notice I didn't say 'friends' most people confuse acquaintances with actual friendships) are, and I will tell you who you are. Whats that saying: "If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights." Very factual quote. Almost scary on how much truth it prevails. Or another favorite: "A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses." The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad.

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Pretty simple don't you think? Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. Life is your mirror, be sure you like what you see. 

An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. The ones that talk negative about others openly, will also talk about you negatively behind your back, beware. Ever look around you and notice who the unhappy people are, they usually are the ones talking harsh about others. Mainly, its the 'others' that are their so-called 'friends'. Sad reality.

Someone that truly loves you will never call you out your name, but see you as acting like a jerk verses calling you one....they will be the friend to make you snap out of it! As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. Consider this:

*Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
*Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. *You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person.
*Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it.
*Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. (My fave)
*Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.